T:Will they really keep her alive?
Q:My nan is <age> and has advanced Alziemers.
She has been in a <institution> for nearly <time_period>.
She is aggressive,  has no memory,  doubly incontinent and is heavily medicated to calm her down when the <professional_practitioner> have to wash her (several times a day).
This morning she fell and has fractured her hip.
She is in <institution> awaiting surgery this afternoon.
I'm amazed they would even attempt surgery and wonder if they would ever just let her slip away while under anesthetic?
The thought of her trying to recover from this is horrendous.
The <institution> can barely cope with her anyway so she will never go back there.
It seems so cruel our respected and loved elderly have to suffer like this.
A:Hello <name>: Watching a loved one go thru all they can go thru is cruel .
but hopefully the patient has very limited ability to understand what's going on.
I had a grandmother,  just over <time_period> ago who died while in one of the more archaic <institution> for alzheimers.
She was about <num> and spitting mad with or during much of her last year in that <institution>.
My mother has been in an <institution> for dementia and parkinsons for <time_period> now .
after living at home for <time_period> with a 24/7 <professional_caregiver>.
I have watched her fade,  especially the past <time_period> - not violent yet,  but that could happen .
but I see fear.
And I think it's fear of feeling alone.
She just turned <age> last <month>.
I can't imagine anyone in the health industry would just let her die .
but does she or did she have any kind of an assignment for health power of attorney?
If she has a do not recusitate (spell?)
.
it might be the best for her pain management .
and provide the least amount of guilt for any family member.
Best wishes to you and yours.
<name> and <name>


A:Yes,  my dad has power of attorney and she does have a do not recusitate.
I just think its so crazy as if it were an animal we would have had it put to sleep.
Well,  its wait and see if she comes round from the op now.
A:Yes,  I'm dealing with this same thing with my Mom -- she has kidney failure and sleeps all day and her back is really painful.
I'm trying to talk my sister's into getting pallative care or hospice care -- after all,  what are the <professional_practitioner> going to try and do,  save her?
She's <age>,  but <professional_practitioner> are into saving lives,  not creating comfort.
At this point I'd rather see her comfortable and out of pain which is what the pallative and hospice care would do.
If your Dad has power of attorney and health care directive,  he can step in and stop the madness.
My Dad was in the <institution> with advanced cancer,  and they kept trying to give him blood transfusions,  even though he had a do not rescuitate and no heroics.
I came in one day and talked to the <professional_practitioner> outside the room.
told them to stop.
He needs comfort now,  not life saving techniques.
I'd rather that so-badly needed blood go to someome that was in dire straits.
I know,  sounds awful,  but my Dad felt the same way.
You are right,  we are much kinder to our animals sometimes.
How does your Dad feel about your Nan having the surgery?
A:Well she has survived the surgery.
There are no details yet,  mum and dad are going to see her tonight.
It leaves the <professional_caregiver> to cope with a frightened old lady who will deficate in her bed several times a day and usually takes <num> or <num> people at the <institution> to get her cleaned up ( she doesnt think its ger mess).
Im so worried the <professional_caregiver> will hate her and leave her to it because shes so unpleasant,  but obviously not her fault.
They just dont have the staff for her.
I want to phone them up to say be nice to her!
A:Well,  the surgery is done,  and I hope she does well recovering,  poor thing.
It sounds like you are in the <location>?
Thinking about you and your family.
A:Yes we are <location>.
Apparently her <institution> may actually have her back which would be the best option as she may find something familiar in that.
A:I certainly hope so,  this must be so hard for your family.
Hugs to all of you.
A:I am so sorry.
I hope that I am never like that.
I would much rather be let to pass away.
A:Just an update.
Nan is still in <institution>,  refusing any medication or physio,  but managing with help to get to her chair.
Se seems slightly better for no doping meds although they are having to manage her behaviour gently and slowly which must be so very frustrating for the <professional_practitioner> who must have other things to do.
Mum and dad are very pleased with the care.
We are waiting to find out where she will go as the <institution> she was in have refused her back.
She's not eating much,  just snacking on a biscuit now and again.
Apparently still got a firm grip in her hand though!
