T:Well,  things are smoothing out some! 	Q:I just wanted to do a little update,  as things are *overall* smoothing out some!  Woo hoo!  'Dad' now has an electric bed in,  bedside commode,  he now wears disposable boxer shorts (YEA! ),  and we are getting good with his meals - he enjoys them even though everything has to go through a blender! LOL! Home health <professional_practitioner> have been by and we are getting set up for occupational therapy and hubby and I will be taught how to deal with each stage of the physical decline - how to turn him safely without injuring anyone and things like that! The <professional_practitioner> that he now sees has done some basic blood work and that has come back good,  and he had an <diagnostic_test> of his shoulder and a <diagnostic_test> of his head because he took a fall and was never taken to the <professional_practitioner> to be checked out,  and they came back as good - although we now know that he had moderate arthritis at least in his shoulder. At least now we can ask the NP for pain meds that will help with his pain! Although yesterday was a hard day - he was being difficult and hubby got a bit short which sent him into hallucinations and confusion about being back where he was and getting bullied into doing everything. Fortunately I was here to 'run interference' and we got through the day with only hubby being incredibly sad over the loss of the man he knew as his Father. Today 'Dad' is a happy,  compliant man!  Thanks for being here! Even just typing this out here on the forum is a form of release and coping for me! 	A:Than type away! :) You are going to face many challenges with your FIL and we will be here for you.  Try to reassure your hubby that the man he knew is still there,  maybe a bit buried,  but there nonetheless. Yes he will get confused,  obstinate,  angry,  lost,  scared and just imagine how hard that must be for your FIL. Knowing that things are not right but unable to figure out why. People with dementia or AD revert back to being a child more or less. Yes even children can try our patience,  but it seems more difficult when it's a parent. Hang in there! 


A:Thank you so much,  <name>!  Yes,  we do know about him reverting,  but coming face to face with it yesterday was a bit harder than I think my hubby was prepared for. I had to live through some really scary loss of cognitive function with the Lyme infection that I had - complete with a full paranoia period of about a week long,  not knowing where I was,  how to do many things,  loss of both short and long term memory,  not being able to use the English language much and so on,  so I do have some idea of what poor 'Dad' is going through. Fortunately it's not the same,  as I've healed and of course we know that he won't. It does,  however give me the ability to talk to him in ways that he understands! At least I didn't go through all of that in vain! I did discover that being here for hubby is sometimes harder than being there for my FIL! At least I can ease things for my FIL! 


A:Yes,  I had a feeling it would hit you hard <name>. HUGGGSSS Keep on typing hon! Remember you can email me anytime :)


A:Thank you so very much,  <name>!  Yes,  I do believe that I will be doing a lot of typing!  LOL! 'Dad' is having a tough time today - lots of confusion. Poor guy.  


A:It's a tough thing <name>,  and I'm so glad that you are here! My Mom is as sweet as anything,  and to lose her is so hard. She still makes me laugh; to her,  I now live in the mountains(?) and she always wants to know how the weather is up there. Even though a live in the suburbs,  I tell her how the weather is. ;-) Some days she's totally confused,  other days she is semi-okay. I think it depends on how much stimulation she's had during the day and how tired she is. I lost my Dad a little over <time_period> ago,  and it gets to me sometimes to think I don't have my Mom or Dad per se. but I love to see Mom and hug her and also talk to her. Dad living with you might be tough for awhile because any move is confusing for them -- I remember my Mom calling my sisters in the middle of the night not knowing where she was. Now she is pretty used to her surroundings. Take care,  and kudos and hugs to you and your husband. Keep writing! ;-)


A:Thank you so very much,  <name>!  Wow,  you are in a tough position. My heart goes out to you. I know that it's easier on me than it is on my hubby,  since it's not my own Dad,  and it breaks my heart to watch sometimes. On the other hand,  I know that we are giving 'Dad' the best care he could possibly get. I'm glad to know that the confusion of where they are is common,  as Dad is dealing with this a lot right now. Poor guy,  he was sooo confused <time_period> ago as to how his bedroom got attached to our house,  but at least he now recognizes and really likes his room!  I do still get pretty nervous when hubby has to leave for <time_period> to go to his own <professional_practitioner>'s appt's though. I'm always concerned that Dad will want/need to see hubby bad enough that I won't be able to calm him. Hopefully I can get past this soon too. A whole bunch of adjustments for everyone! I have confidence in us though,  all of us,  as the love that's there for each of us is very strong and I feel that we should be able to work through most anything! 
