T:AD and dental work	Q:Anyone here have experience with this? My mom is <age> years old and is living in <institution>. I received a call last night from her <professional_practitioner> stating that one of mom's bridges,  a stationary one,  broke out of her mouth. I was able to make her an appt at a <professional_practitioner> near where she lives. Bottom line,  there is decay which caused the bridge to break and we are now thinking the best opiton would be to pull the remaining <num> teeth she has and just put in a bottom plate of false teeth. The problem is that she would be without teeth on the bottom for about <time_period> to <time_period> while the gum is healing from the teeth extraction. I'm just wondering how mom will handle all this and if there is any other option? She is really not happy at all about this and keeps telling me to forget it,  that she will just deal with what she has,  which really is not an option,  but. go argue with someone with AD. just wondering if anyone else here has any suggestions? Thanks <name>	A:If she really fights you hard on this & with others forget it.  At <age> with dementia it can be a problem for everyone concerned, esp.  her. 


A:Is her mouth hurting her? If not,  it might be wise just to wait and see how things develop. Going to the <professional_practitioner> is traumatic for some people and especially with someone with AD it can make things even scarier. If it gets to the point where her mouth is hurting her or it gets infected,  then it might be time to consider the options which is usually not that favorable. Meaning sedation for the extractions. People with AD do not respond well to sedation in most forms. Before my Gma really started declining,  I took her to the <professional_practitioner> but the <professional_practitioner> gave her a very small dose of Valium to help calm her. But if your mom is very adamant about not going,  you may not have much choice other then to get her on antibiotics if it becomes infected. Sometimes it's about picking your battles.  


A:Is the <professional_practitioner> really advocating this,  given the situation? I would find out how much pain she is in and if there is a way to manage it versus going the tooth removal route.  


A:For my grandmother,  we tell her when its time for dental appts that the denture is going to be fixed by a <professional_practitioner> so she doesnt have to have pain while wearing them. And then she usually quipps she doesnt remember complaining about them,  and we just say,  oh you've mentioned it a few times. maybe your forgetters are working overtime. We make it kind of fun as you can tell. After the appointment we always take her to a restraunt so she associates with going to <professional_practitioner>,  <professional_practitioner>s gets a big treat to restraunt hehe. *Whispers* We also tricked her into thinking she doesn't smoke anymore and quit <time_period> ago. Sometimes,  this Dementia and Alheimers can be a plus LOL! 


A:LOL <name>! :)


A:Thanks for your suggestions. My mom does not enjoy going out to eat any more. she is very insecure and just wants to be in her room. rarely even leaves her room,  except for meals where she goes to a dining room and thankfully she is still able to do that. Can't really bribe her with anything any more. I wish I could. I was told once by a Social Worker that it is okay to tell Alzheimer's lies. just twist the truth a bit,  step into their world and try to make things easier for us and them. Just a very tough road to travel. If I try to make light of things,  she tells me I am being ridiculous. If I try to be stern and take over she resents it and tells me not to tell her what to do. She has always been an extremely stubborn woman so it's difficult. Thanks again <name>


A:What does she like doing? Walks in Park? Visiting some family memeber? Seeing an old friend?


A:She enjoys her daughters spending time with her. I have <num> sisters,  one that works at the <institution>,  evening shift,  so she is there to tuck mom in at night and my other sister and I switch off spending some time with her during the day. The ONLY thing she will do is go to bingo which is <num> a week for about an <time_period>. I learned today that she went to a wine and cheese social they had. She refuses to leave the <institution>. If she does leave,  she is totally confused and returns in a horrible state. She has no other interests at all. She use to crochet,  knit,  volunteered,  had friends. She gave everything up about <time_period> ago. She is a stubborn as the day is long and you cannot convince her to do a thing. She lays in bed most of the day and listens to the TV -- that is it -- the <professional_practitioner> and social director knock on her door and tell her what activity is going on,  but she refuses to leave her room.  


A:Bring the activity to her. Like her daughters with cookies and coffee. or you guys doing a make over for fun on her and letting her do one on you. maybe reading to her. She watches tv,  maybe you can get her out with a movie? As for dental work,  find a <professional_practitioner> that would be willing to come to the facility. Some will still do house calls.  


A:My mom won't allow the <professional_practitioner> to remove her bridge to get at the decay in a crown and underneath. She has very few teeth left and I know she will lose the ones she has,  before long - and THEN what! It is very upsetting to me,  but what can I do? It is what it is. She has neglected her teeth for <time_period> - we didn't realize this because she was living on her own and we didn't realize she had AD. I think she would just have teeth pulled instead of having them treated. Now her mouth is a mess. She is convinced that my <professional_practitioner> pulled <num> of her teeth on the last visit,  when in reality,  she has had them pulled over the <time_period> when she was living far away from where I live (I have moved her into a <institution> near me,  now). She lives in a <institution> where they serve <num> meals a day and offer little trips and activities. She is going out less and less on the little trips to the store,  etc. I think it is because she can't cope. She complains of being cooped up,  but she won't go out. When I take her out,  she gets totally confused about where she lives - and asks me where she is going to sleep. So,  I think the structure of where she lives is helpful - and I have to not worry about her complaining about being cooped up,  because she really can't handle going out much,  anymore.  


A:<name>,  I COMPLETELY understand what you are saying. My mom is exactly the same and from what I have learned about Alzheimer's,  it is not uncommon for the person to become very insecure. Thankfully my mom feels very safe and secure where she is living and loves her little room. Like your mom,  they have activities throughout the day and for the most part,  my mom refuses most of them. Yes it is a shame,  but the bottom line is what makes her happy and if she prefers to be in her room,  then so be it. But,  like you,  I get phone calls telling me she is lonely. In reality,  what would make her happiest if either me or my other <num> sisters were with her throughout the day and that is simply not possible.  We all still work full time. We are doing our best by visiting at least <num> to <num> times a week. I have to tell myself it is the disease,  but it does frustrate me. On the one hand,  she has all these lovely activities she could be doing all day long but she chooses to stay in her room,  and on the other hand,  I get phone calls telling me how lonely she is. Very frustrating.  


A:<name>,  my Gma used to do that too. When she lived out of state,  she would say she missed everyone and she was lonely. Then her husband (my Gpa) passed away and we moved her in with us and she still said she was lonely. It made me feel bad,  like I somehow failed her but I realized that it was the dementia talking after a while. My Gma was also a recluse eventually. She preferred to stay in her room even after the aids at the <institution> kept trying to get her involved in things. Every <day> they had choir singers and church services. She used to tell me how lovely they sang but she never left her room to go see them - she preferred to stay in her room. I would take her out once or <num> a week for lunch or shopping; just to get her out of her room. But then she fell and broke her hip,  was placed in a wheel chair. So her during her <time_period>,  when I would go visit her she would be in the game room just staring out the window. I guess she didn't have much say on where they wheeled her. :) But I was glad to see her out of her room.  


A:My mom's been in this <institution> for almost <time_period> and at first,  my sister made it her mission to see that my mom got involved in actitivites. It took her <time_period> to finally realize it's not what makes us happy,  we have to see things through their eyes. The disease causes so much insecurity. I can't even imagine what she goes through. You see,  my mom is very aware of her memory loss,  which I think makes it even worse. She talks about it to me,  how she's forgotten everything. Makes me feel so bad.  In any case,  I do still call her and tell her what activities are planned,  even though the social director knocks on her door to remind her. Sometimes I think maybe if she hears it from her daughter,  it might spark something? I try,  but I don't force her,  and if she says no,  then I say ok,  just wanted you to be aware. It's all we can dotake care <name>
